「含羞草之歌」@2018

想不到在2018年
我仍在默書
在默那曾經盛開如樹的含羞草⋯⋯
在設計書的封面
畫了近一個月
但最後發現
只像poster或展覽用的backdrop
這不是我心目中的封面
還是再多畫一個版本吧
🤦🏻‍♀️

「含羞草之歌」
2018是一定要出世的

童年回憶之幾個黑魔女

夏天陽光明媚，這間小屋幽幽暗暗，密不透風的，屋外的籬笆也陰冷得樹葉在發白。

古龍說：「沒有表情的表情， 是最可怕的表情」這幫黑、毒、冷的女人演活了。這幾位黑衣婆婆，個個彷彿是穿上制服一樣的：頭髮梳得一絲不苟，後腦纏着一個髻，兩耳配上玉耳環，口裡鑲了幾隻金牙，斜襟黑衣，黑色寛鬆黑褲，黑色的布鞋。夏天手執扇，腋下一條白色小手帕，可能這造型也真太熱，她們愛坐在樹下的藤椅納涼。她們不苟言笑，目無表情，黑衣白臉，深居於一條小巷盡頭，想必活得很累，很陰沉，很多小孩子都怕了她們，這裡卻成了伏匿匿的必勝藏身地。

有一次，我和姐姐騎三輪車經過她們門前，也許我倆笑聲真太震天了，其中一個，竟然踏出門，警告我倆說：「快啲走！嘈到死！信唔信我用滾水淥死你哋吖嗱！」

我們不信，繼續溜躂，誰知，轉眼間，她真的拿出一個紅色的熱水壺出來，更作狀打開壺蓋，熱騰騰的煙冒起，暗藏着她兇狠的狼眼。我們被嚇得冷汗直標，急忙逃離現埸。從此，並未踏足那裡半步。

到今天，我依然難以想像，怎樣成長的人，才會對小孩子講那番話？難道「梳起唔嫁」的女人，真的要如李莫愁一樣，要煉成絕情才可抵達更高的境界？她們為了脫離傳統婚姻的枷鎖住進了鳥語花香的房子，為什麽追求自由獨立，最後竟變成性情古怪、面色難看的阿婆？她們像黑魔怪，要淥死眼前所有細路仔，是我心中巫婆的原型。

換了在今天，一定要跟這班魔女談談天，看看她們成魔的過程，想必比電影還好看。

The Black Witches

Summer was sunny and beautiful. But this small house was closed up; it must be dark and gloomy inside, stuffy too. Even in the daylight, the fences that enclosed it looked so cold that even the leaves on them seemed almost bleached white.

Mr. Ku Lung(古龍) said, “The most terrifying expression is that which is expressionless.” These black, venomous and cold women testified to that. The old women in black dressed as if in uniform – hair combed meticulously and twisted into a bun at the back of the head, jade earrings, a glimmer of gold capped teeth in their mouths, black tops with oblique lapel, loose black pants, black cotton shoes. In the summer they would carry a fan in their hands, with a white handkerchief tucked under the armpit. Perhaps the outfit was too hot; they loved to cool themselves sitting on rattan armchairs under the shade of trees. They did not talk; they did not smile, and their faces were without expression. They resided at the end of the alley. Their life must have been so tired and depressing. All the children were afraid of them. But that also made this the prime spot for hide-and -seek.

Once, my sister and I passed their door on our tricycles. Perhaps our boisterous laughter offended them. One of the old women stepped up to us and spitted out a warning, “Stay away, you raucous imps! Or I’ll kill you with boiling water, believe me!”

We did not think she was serious and continued to fool around. But she went in and returned, in the twinkling of an eye, with a red hot-water flask, and proceeded to open the lid. Hot steam rising from the flask misted over her ferocious, wolf-like eyes. We broke out in cold sweat and fled; we were so scared. We never went near that house again.

Even now, I still find it hard to imagine what kind of upbringing would make someone say something so noxious to kids. Could women who vowed to remain single really need to train themselves to become totally unfeeling, like Lee Mok-Shau(李莫愁), to transcend to the supreme level? They moved into a house surrounded by singing birds and fragrant flowers to escape from the fetters of traditional marriage. How did the search for freedom turn them at last into eccentric, ugly old hags? They were black monsters who would kill kids with boiling water, the archetype of witches in my mind's eye.

Should I see them today, I would definitely chat up these women, and explore their journey in becoming witches. It must be even more fascinating than a movie.

(Translated by Miss Yvonne So)